Looking Back

I can not believe the end of this educational journey is coming to an end....at least for now anyway...for I know me ...I will be back!

Thinking about what the last three years have been like gives me a sense of pride and gratitude for having taken the biggest risk of my life thus far. Having left the comfort of a full time job with benefits, to at the time, nothing really was huge. I often thought did I make a mistake did I make a wrong turn? The journey has certainly not been easy. Unemployment, depression, loneliness, fear, illness, and doubt were my companions that first year. Deciding to follow my heart and my passion however led me to grow and explore my soul and life in ways that have so profoundly enriched me. There were those that believed in me that really have turned out to be my divine appointments, people I believe where placed by God to help me along on this path. To Him and them I am grateful!

I have been thinking of the ways in which I changed in this process. The best way I can put it really is...I died and came back to life anew. I am not the same person anymore. Thank God that he is faithful to complete in us what he begins, otherwise I would not have had a chance. I am alive now and living in ways I did not anticipate. The challenges were heartbreaking and scary. I had to push myself in ways I had not before. I cannot say I have arrived just yet ,but I am certainly on my way, to a new life with new adventures along the way, and challenges no doubt, but I am on my way! I have a joy now and a faith for what is mine and will be mine that was not there before and for that I am eternally grateful.

To anyone out there that may actually read this post. I want to encourage you to live life with passion and purpose. Take the risks that you need to take. The cost may be high but the reward is worth it and the payout even greater! Have faith that there is a God, who loves and is committed to you being the best that you can be, and jump off the comfort zone and into living! My very best to you out there....and may all that is good and pure follow and sustain you....

Contentment......

This week I had the pleasure of meeting an elderly man in his seventies. He resides in a nursing home. He is spunky, full of life, and very with it if you know what I mean. We had a very pleasant conversation as I joined him for a bit down memory lane. The older I get the more I value what the elderly have to say!....I guess it takes me growing up to realize just what is ahead for me as to what to "look" for now as life goes by...

I asked him what is a life lesson he would want a young person to know. Here is what he had to say "have an open mind and learn to be content". I honestly walked away with a smile. He gave much to think on... Having an open mind that I think I got....at least what the concept means. Don't assume anything....always ask....and be willing to change course or ideas as necessary. The practice of that ...well is a practice a choice every day. What stuck me most of what he said was the second part...."to learn to be content". Mind you I have heard this before many times.....is even in the Bible! Now putting that to practice....now that has been my challenge. Contentment in the good times no problem. Contentment in the difficult times, when my heart is broken...now how does that one do that???....Hmmmm.....

The only thing I have a grasp of is this....life is a matter of seasons....things change....so holding on to the hope that this too shall pass or change helps..... But is that contentment? Something tells me there is sooo much more to this....to be continued for sure!

Why Resist?

Have you noticed a pattern in your life?.....that which we tend to be most resistive to ....end up being the most beneficial or fulfilling. I have noticed that pattern in the lives of others and at times remarked on it with a smile or a laugh. Now that I have lived a little more myself am seeing in my own life. So of course I have been thinking and wondering about this. Why in fact do we resist when in the end when we give in so to speak...we are the ones that benefit the most. So why then do fight that thing so much? Is it fear? Is it doubt? Is it timing? Is it control and our illusion of it?? Just a thought as the weekend comes to an end ....and the resistance of Monday creeps in....

In time....

Been thinking a lot about the choices that we make and the questions I have often asked along my life journey. I am certainly one of those that had a lot of questions and still do....in the past the answers did not come along easily....now reflecting I realize ...things do happen for a reason, they do fall into place, and in time they make sense. There is peace and contentment in this awareness. Is a matter of time it seems....to ask, discover, and understand. When the answers come and we are not ready to "get it" so to speak ....we miss out on the richness inherent in the lessons. The "waiting" is the hardest part....some times it hurts and sometimes it cuts really deep. It is in the waiting though that character is built and strenght is achieved...inner strength. Sadly though is character and strength still valued in our society today. In a world where there is no waiting and everything is in an instant. Has waiting become obsolete? Is waiting a dirty word? Have we lost the art (as painfall as it might be) to know how to wait and in such learn the value of time? Are we getting lost in the vastness of speed technology brings us? I will be the first to admit it. I dont particular like to wait....especially those long seasons of waiting....but I am finally beginning to see the benefit and reap the rewards it brings.

What Get's You Going....Willing to Pay the Price?

What do you want most?...what is that get's you out of bed everyday and motivates you? Do you have a passion, a dream, a goal?.... In Black Swan, we see a very talented young lady so ambitiously pursuing her passion that she ends up paying a huge price for such a quest. Black Swan is a powerful, dark, physhological thriller. For sure entertaining and thought provoking at least for me. (Big surprise). The plot made me think of how we go about pursuing our goals, the pressures, expectations others have of us and the ones we have of ourselves and ultimately the price we pay for it along the way. When your a student, the price paid typically is lack of a social life and little money. As we leave the comfort and safety of academia and face the real world with all that is has to offer, what will the challenges and the pressures be and do have what it takes to succeed. What are we willing to give up and what will we gain. More importantly though, I think is this ....has a passion been indentified in your life?....is there something that motivates you to the point that you are willing to take the risk and venture out regardless of the cost. Going back to Black Swan, she took all the risk and paid the highest price. At the end she did have a wide smile as the lights faded to black. At the end of the day is that not what we all want? To end our days with a wide smile??...

An Apple a Day....turns out to be True....

Well...after getting sick yet again this year....I decided to do some research...

I am not a big fan of vegetables or fruits in all honesty. In fact, I tended to look elsewhere when my mother "nagged" me about what I was consuming. Getting sick however, is certainly no fun either!! Got the crazy cough that was going around for almost a month, a couple of months ago...got better....then got sick again...it came with a fever and I slept for about 24 hrs...great right:-)....then the unfortunate happened again...yup, you guessed it a third time!!! I was like what is up with my body??? Greatful that the last two times...over the counter medicine worked....but in all honesty who wants to keep taking any kind of medicine at all right???....so again back to my research above and o yeah...taking a second look at veggies and fruits....who knew at this stage of my life, I would discover yet again how right my mother was:-)!

While visiting her a couple of weeks ago...she made me a juice of green peppers, apples, lettuce, cilantro and really not sure what else. It was this green concoction...looked kind of funny at first I admit. Drank it and it was to my pleasant surprise quite tasty. So I decided then and there to buckle down and admit how right she was. Since then I went ahead and purchases a juicer and have been coming up with my own formulas! I love this stuff!! I have been feeling soooo much better in several ways and I am looking forward to staying healthy!

In my research, here is what I found out: all the veggies are good for fighting cancer, (yay!), are high in Vitamin C, B1, B6, B12, and so forth. Celery in particular (very tasty) is good for reducing inflamation, high blood pressure, and cholesterol. Apples are also good for just about everything. There is sooo much I could say....but like they say....pictures speak a thousand words. So here are a few of my latest...hope this inspires anyone who might acutally read this to check it out and test a few recipes of your own!...

Who is Really In Charge??

Well here we go again....questioning and digging for truth. Something I do all the time via books, movies, friends, and frankly where ever I may find myself.

This week I decided to take a look at, for fun and really as my canvas so to speak, the movie "The Adjustment Bureau" with Matt Damon. I really enjoyed the movie for many reasons, his acting, the story, and the platform to question as a woman of faith, who really is in charge? Our own free will, fate, destiny, chance or a combination of all of the above.

As a child I was raised in a home with high expectations of who and how I would live life. Early on I realized mistakes were not appreciated nor wanted. So I then too, had high expectations of myself and fearfully lived life not wanting to make a wrong turn or decision. As years passed I realized living to please another is harder than to make mistakes. I have since made a conscience choice to live from the heart not always the head- were analysis was a form of self protection. Never the less, the question has always baffled me. Does it matter what choices I make?....Do all paths lead to the same road??..Is what happens what is meant to happen??

In "The Adjustment Bureau" those questions are tackled when Matt Damon's character meets a woman he simply cannot live without. The viewer is introduced to a series of conversations were a group of people's job is to ensure "he sticks to the plan" for his life as the "Chairman" had previously decided. David Norris (Matt Damon) had been preordained to be a senator and in time run for the presidency. His whole life had been orchestrated to fit that end. That is until he is introduced to Elise Sellas (Emily Blunt)who initially was only meant to inspire not to be his love interest. All forces are set up against them to keep them apart. David however not only questions the plan but resists it and challenges it every step of the way asking why and why not?...as a viewer I found myself identifying with him.

He is presented with having to make the choice, staying with her, which meant what she is meant to be and do does not happen, or walking away for good. How he handles and tackles those choices is the meat of the movie so I will not give it away here. I think we all question that at some point in our lives. To what extent do I really have a choice and does it matter?... Our ability to choose for ourselves is I believe our greatest gift. Using that gift is both our right and our responsibility (for we still have to face the consequences of what we choose) so how we use it, is perhaps the greater question, we have to begin with. So here it is again...who is in charge of your life??

Beginning

Well....here I am deciding on how to approach this blogging opportunity...

How real and how deep should I be on this...should I approach this like I would a journal?...knowing that others might actually read my thoughts, opinions, and perhaps any feelings I decide to write about.... hmmm...this will be a work in progress ....ok here goes!

I was up very late last night...watching a documentary on child brides in Ethiopia with Lisa Ling.

I had so many mixed feelings and thoughts going through my mind. There were thoughts about o yeah...that's a voice over and that's a b-roll!...yes am getting this stuff...but then came the more serious awareness of what she was exposing the audience (me) to.

I found out by viewing this documentary that up until a few years ago, it was perfectly legal in Ethiopia for families to give their daughters away to marriage as young as 4 years old! The thought is baffling to say the least. The law was said to recently change so that a girl had to be 18 years of age to wed. What on earth I kept thinking would make that even an option? Poverty, lack of education, and cultural norms all play a part is this custom that seems to leave this girls (that is what they are little girls) forsaken and even abandoned at times. You see, they marry young, often they have not even started their menstruation cycles (that is how young they are!) and often are domestics to their often 20 and above year old husbands. Some of the girls highlighted on this documentary end up raped, exposed to disease, and often end up being single parents.

Apparently, since they are still babies (my words) they have a hard time delivering their babies. Often end up with a medical condition affecting their bladder and "leaking" causing abandonment and rejection by their husbands and families. Others end up exposed to HIV and Aids. Sadness, anger, and frustration were some of the emotions I felt...for this girls that are no different than I was or any other female. How much location (birth place) a difference makes!....

I looked back at my own life and that of eveyone I have known and thought to myself ...how blessed and lucky I have been. Fear and loss of control to the degree this girls face every day was not my common experience. Am very grateful for that. Now the question left is what do I do about what I know?....how do I proceed? Knowing this has changed me....